Training emotional gun on parents
Written by Writer on Saturday, October 25th, 2008
Training emotional gun on parents
25 Oct 2008, Bhama Devi Ravi, TNN
CHENNAI: They should have been out playing instead of getting pushed to the edge of life. Griffin (16), Karthik (17) and Gopu (name changed), a 10-year-old, all committed suicide in the last few days. The reason? Parents asking children to study and not watch TV, or a father presenting a dress that his daughter did not like.
You may think they are routine events in a family, but all three committed suicide. The coming of age appears to be taking the life out of children. It is hard on parents when children hold an emotional gun to their heads and then proceed to take their own lives.
“These are caused by social upheaval, the kind of superficiality that people are holding on to,” said Vidya Reddy of Tulir, an NGO. “Lot of parents believe that showering gifts on children is an expression of love, but we cannot blame the parents either,” she added.
As per the latest statistics (2006) Chennai ranks first among all cities in India in suicides (37.8 per lakh population). In 2005, six boys and 22 girls below the age of 14 committed suicide, while in 2006, 18 boys and 18 girls took their lives.
According to Dr Lakshmi Vijayakumar, psychiatrist and WHO consultant for suicide prevention, a combination of biological, psychological and social problems are a factor in pushing children to the edge.
“Children’s knowledge base and nutritional health have improved over the years, and made hormonal growth faster. However, physical growth is not keeping pace with mental maturity, and so there is a disconnect,” she said. “We are also shifting socially from a responsibility-based society to a rights-based society,” she added.
The concept of death does not exist in children until they turn five, and there are few incidents of suicide until the age of eight, said Vijayakumar.
“The period around 14 and 15 is enmeshed in turmoil,” she added. Parents too add to the turmoil, felt clinical psychiatrist Dr B S Virudhagirinadhan. “Parents tend to train their children as dependents instead of letting them learn life skills. They end up being hypersensitive to any remark,” he adds.
“Children are very vulnerable and the inability to cope with emotional situation are the reasons for such tendencies,” said Dr Mohan Raj, child psychiatrist.
“Poor self-esteem, poor social networking and exposure to suicide in television are the main reasons for the growing trend of suicide in the city,” he added.
“Majority of juvenile suicides arise out of a sense of shame, and even a mild rebuke in front of their peers upsets them,” said psychiatrists.
“Education should help them cope, and sports is one area which helps a child deal with failure, but schools do not take it seriously,” he said.
“The best help we can give them is to remove the social stigma attached to suicide and depression,” added the psychiatrists. The Indian Psychiatric Society is campaigning to remove it as a crime under the section 309 of IPC “People need help, not legal action,” added Dr Mohan Raj.
